Christmas

This year was the third Christmas without my brother. Celebrating anything without him is just so difficult. Knowing he isn't with us just brings on an ache that is so physically and mentally exhausting. This year I was determined to slow down and enjoy the season.. enjoy the ages that my sons are at. I was determined to let myself feel.. to acknowledge that yes it hurts without my brother but I still have so much to be grateful for. So much to live in the moment for.

We kept the season busy with activities and outings ... crafts.. baking.. etc. We watched lots of Christmas movies and listened to Christmas music. There was one day where we had a dance party while I was cooking to "Run Run Rudolph". They were shaking their little booties and giggling up a storm. It made my heart so full.

And I carried those feelings throughout the actual day. We went to the children's mass on Christmas Eve. Hearing all of the adorable children in the choir sing their hearts out all off key. My boys sang right along. There was a pageant that the children did as well of the story of Christmas. The part where Mary and Joseph walk from place to place asking "do you have a room". Middle dude turned around excitedly and asked is there a room mom?! Made my heart happy to hear to that he was paying attention. Then we had a fun night of food..playing games.. presents..and family. We played Pie Face.. which is basically getting slapped in the face with whip cream.. We even had the boys great grandma playing too.  It was perfect. The next day we did absolutely nothing. We woke up to see what Santa brought, stayed in our pajamas, watched basketball all day and enjoyed ourselves.

In the middle of the night while were setting up for Santa I had one of those perspective moments. I was so excited for the boys to wake up.. I was overwhelmed acknowledging that I am so incredibly blessed with my boys.. and that I get to celebrate the magic of Christmas with them. I have an amazing husband that does everything in his power to make me happy. Santa was really good to me too :)

I hope everyone had the Merriest of Christmases and I look forward to celebrating the New Year with my loved ones.