All in the Timing

It is only the first week of February and I am still reeling from the roller coaster that the month of January was. The ups and the downs and the little details in between left me over whelmed and out of breath. I hate to be vague about certain things but I am not ready to talk about it all. I will say it involved postponing major life changes... it involved getting news that made me wide eyed at God's timing. There was also a car accident to throw in the mix among other things. Hubby was fine physically.. his car not so much. And when looking back at the tangled metal mess... it is a wake up call on how things can change in a split second.

So here I am trying to just go with the flow.. and count my blessings a long the way.. Also saying prayers that 2016 doesn't continue to carry the drama the rest of the year through.

But back to the timing of things... God's timing is something that I have struggled with since my brother passed away. Whether you are religious and see it as God's timing.. or you aren't and chalk it up to coincidence or just life in general.. the timing of how things work out sometimes is sometimes just a hard concept to understand.

When my brother passed away... the timing of it... his age.. how it happened.. where it happened... I don't know if that is it a grief thing or not but all of those details haunt me everyday. I can't wrap my head around it.

But God's timing doesn't necessarily always have to do with negative or sad things... some times awesome things happen but still I wonder the timing and think that maybe God has an awesome sense of humor.  Either way... I don't always understand it...and frankly sometimes it frightens me.

I am a type A person that needs to know how things are going to happen. I need a plan.. a schedule.. I need to be able to see the next steps. And when I can't do that I am at a lost of what to do.

But I guess that is the point about having faith. You have to have faith ... or confidence (if faith isn't your thing) that things are going to work out. That things that aren't always going to follow a schedule... well not your schedule any way. And that things ..both good and bad are going to happen because well... that's life. The good.. the bad .. the ugly.. the hard.. the suffering.. the beautiful...and the not knowing.

Its a concept that I am going to have to work on forever. It is never going to be an easy concept for me.. to just let go and trust.. but I have to work on it.. and I have to teach my kids as they grow that they have to do it too.. be adaptable.. be prepared and have faith... but know that some things are always going to be out of their control....