Growth

I was having a conversation with someone the other day about what it means to get older. What it means to mature and grow. There were different aspects to the conversation where it was said that for some people having kids gets you there, sometimes having a major career, or sometimes unfortunately having something bad or negative happen to you will get you there. My husband and I joke how we hate that we are closer to thirty now than we are to 25. Now sometimes the numerical age doesn't matter at all well because lets face it, I know some thirty something year olds that have lots of growing to do.

As the calendar turned onto another month I reflected on this even more. I am half way through my pregnancy. With the coming of another child with the different conversations we have it is surreal that I will go from talking about my son, to saying my kids. Now again having children doesn't always get people to grow or mature but for me it has completely changed my life. Everything my husband and I do are for our kids. Not everyone has to agree with our parenting techniques or ways but how we live or life is for them. They have made us grow and mature, want more out of life. They have changed our relationship for the better and created a new kind of love in our union.

I have talked before how this year has been a very difficult one for us. We each lost a grandparent. We had to deal with health issues within our family. We also had a series of other unfortunate events. I think we were like in March or April where I remember thinking wow I can't wait for this year to be over. But here we are. We are still dealing with things. We are still haunted by things. But the measure of how we have grown is by how we have reacted and dealt. I think that is the difference in maturing growing.

I am never one that talks about regrets. I don't like the word regret because I like to think of things as lesson learned. I am not proud of some things I did in my late teens and early twenties. There were lots of lessons learned in that time frame. I will say though that I don't regret any of it. I struggled and had issues. I also had a blast though!

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And here we are... while we still like to go out and enjoy each other and a good time we have settled into the family life. Family life is not for everyone and I am in no way saying it is the only way to grow up but this is where our path is. This year has made grow up even more. We understand now that we are not invincible, nor are our families, friends or loved ones. Life isn't going to go on forever. Things are going to happen that we can't control. Things are going to happen that are going to test us and make us question everything in the world. Our faith is going to be tested. But at the end of the day we know that we have to surround ourselves with people that make us happy, people that better us, and as cliche as it sounds live everyday to the fullest.  Part of growing up also means that you learn to stop comparing yourself to others and measuring your life against what others have and don't have. This was a big one I have learned along the way.

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I used to dread getting older... now I realize that it is a privilege denied to many. I am in comfort where my weekends revolve around little man's activities. I am in comfort that our excitement right now is climbing into bed and watching the Olympics at night. I am in comfort knowing that even though life still and will probably always scare the crap out of me sometimes... it does go on. Its a blessing that it goes on...