3 months and a message

In the last three months I feel like I have aged 10 years. Grief and sadness have taken a toll on my body and my spirit. I mentioned before how I recently went back and read through many old blog posts. After reading some of them it was like I subconsciously felt something was going  to happen because I talked often about living each day like its your last, about life being too short, about enjoying life and not taking it for granted. And now here I am. Here we are. 

Three months without him has been terrible. It has taken a toll on me and my sister but especially my parents. Where do we go from here? Will we ever get to a state where we can feel semi normal? We will never know a normal again because he was our normal. He was there to talk to, to drive me crazy, and to just be there with. I spend my nights longing to hear his voice just one more time. Longing to tell him so many things left unsaid. Longing to just look at him. Longing for something you know will never be is so terribly heartbreaking. But we have to keep going.. have to keep fighting to live a life we know he would be proud of. 

So if you have been a reader of blog for awhile and read my previous posts about life and not taking it for granted and didn't think too much into it... well here is my message to you... stop taking things, people and life for granted. Love the people in your life who make you happy. Stop sweating the small stuff. Take chances and risks to get rewards. Surround yourself with people and things that make your heart happy. Hug and kiss your babies everyday and always let them know how much you love them. Start living... because tomorrow is promised to no one. I knew this and tried to live in this way as much as possible but now with him gone I see that I have so much more to work on. 

Joseph... missing you is only getting harder.. We are trying to be strong because we know that is what you would want.. We aren't doing a very good job at it but just know that we are trying.. 

3 months.. always in our mind--forever in our hearts. 

P.S. for local readers... On November 16th there is a "Seize the moment" walk/run for the epilepsy foundation. Come out and run/walk/volunteer/or support any way you can! http://epilepsyrun.com/stm5k_home/