"That Person"

The other night I needed a late night snack. Nursing 5,765 times a day leaves me hungry and thirsty quite often. All of my babies were sleeping and I creeped down the stairs. On the way down I had to side step an action figure. Once downstairs I looked around. A random sippy cup was left discarded on the sofa. A batman mask on the kitchen floor. A dish or two left in the sink. Not too long ago this would have driven me crazy. I would have spent extra time to pick everything up and put them in their places. I walked past it all, retrieved a snack, and headed back upstairs. It's just not of great importance to make sure my house is completely clean instead of getting those few minutes of mind relaxation before I head to bed. A changed person of how I would have normally handled it.

I'm different now as a mother of three. I have changed after adding each child to our family. I've gone through different changes with each life event and growth in my life.. My most recent change was what losing a loved one has done to the person I am. Before my brother's passing I talked about and even wrote posts on here about living life to the fullest.. Not taking things, people, or time for granted. But I didn't always practice what I preached. I was that person that had the right idea.. But didn't always follow through. I would hear a news story or be told of someone's situation where they lost a loved one or had a child or spouse with a serious illness or some other horrible circumstance and think wow I need to live more in the moment.. But things happened .. Insignificant annoyances in life..little obstacles.. Little things to cause a headache in life would happen and I'd waste time being stressed, anxious, worried. I wasted time being angry, unforgiving, and holding grudges. But then it happened to me...

I got the call that no one wants .. The unexpected death of a loved one.. And all of a sudden all of those sayings and quotes that tell you that everything happens for a reason.. That life is too short..live it to the fullest. And in my mind, dealing with a broken heart I didn't know how to take that. Now though dealing with the grief of not being able to tell him goodbye.. The grief of not appreciating the last time I heard his voice..and the grief of accepting that I took him for granted .. I make more of that conscience effort to not take things for granted.. To live everyday as if it were my last .. And all of those other cliché sayings. I am that person that wants to preach to you.. Sure there are going to be hard stressful days.. Days where bedtimes are pushed up because of bad behavior.. Days where you are stressed out and want to cry.. Days that simply just suck..

But I am that person to tell you to at least try.. Make an attempt at a better effort to live fully. Do what makes you happy in mind and body. Hug and love your babies like there is no tomorrow. Appreciate each day as its given to you. I am that person that can say I fail at that all the time but I am much more aware of the effort I am making to love the life I have..to celebrate my blessings.. And to let everything else go. 

And something to think about