Grant me Patience

God give me patience... A phrase that runs through my head quite often.. Sometimes I even say it out loud. With three little demanding dudes in my life I need loads of patience. Patience when I am explaining the exact same thing five times in a row.. Patience for my two year old when trying to teach him the same concept... Patience for the baby who doesn't understand that I need to cook dinner and can't hold him 23 hours out of a 24 hour day.

I have come to terms that there are also some individuals that have been placed in my life for whatever reason.. And in different ways .. And they need to be in my life but also test my patience oh so very often. And I just need to learn how to deal. 

My patience is also tested in so many other ways.. I used to work in customer service so I have a high level of expectation when it comes to it.. And I am always tested in this area.. Drives me nuts. In the grocery check out lane.. With or without kids I need patience there as well..

The concept of all of this is weighing heavy on me right now. With all of the above included there are some additional things.. Issues.. Life happenings.. Where I just feel like God is trying to teach me patience.. He is for whatever reason trying to get me to wait.. To slow down and not be in a rush or constantly looking forward.. My prayers are not going unanswered.. But instead of a no I'm getting a not yet... 

I've talked about the time warp that I feel my life is.. Living in grief.. Watching my sons grow at an alarming rate and dealing with my aging self.. But the time warp and this whole patient waiting game ?it can some times be a bit much.. 

So I'm trying.. Trying to sit back and enjoy the little things.. Trying to live in the moment and not get frustrated with the chaos of 4 year olds playing tball.. Or not go crazy when my two year old freaks out over his Lego man not being positioned a certain way.. Or not sigh heavily when the baby wants to nurse for the fifth time in one hour...

I just need to keep trying.. Keep telling myself this... Because there are some days like today where my patience got shot before I even had my morning coffee.. Just a reminder to ask God for grace and to please oh please grant me patience ....