When It all Makes Sense

I haven't written much this year besides some pregnancy updates and such. Not that I didn't have any thoughts to share or memories or details to record for myself.. but more so because this year has been all over the place. It hasn't been a "bad" year.. there actually has been so much good. But it has been one of those years where I have questioned things. Timing of things and happenings has been a big thing. Change has been a big thing. Big time adult decisions needed to be made. I was hurt by people in my life and had to make decisions on forgiveness and deciding when to finally walk away. It even seems like people close to us were going through the same thing to some of extent of change, and big events, and overall life decisions. Then to top it off it seems like the world around us is just getting scarier by the day with all the hate..political unrest, crazy people trying to take things into their own hands... And all of this had nothing to do with learning we were expecting again. We knew we wanted to add to our family so that decision was just another factor in the life is crazy detail. Then this was all topped with the numbing grief that will forever be present in missing my brother.

So while I was thrilled and excited to be pregnant again.. I kind of just retreated.. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy..stay close to home with my crew, and pray about everything going on. We just needed to take a step back and see where the year took us. There was much anticipation about this time of year with me approaching my due date and my oldest dude starting kindergarten. Well his first day came and went...he's doing amazing in school and everything worked out on that end. Then this past week... our baby boy decided to make his appearance into this world.

Being in labor for a fourth time... you would think I'd be used to the feeling.. well in the literal sense..sure I have been there before and familiar with the contractions and all but each labor has been so different. But that moment when baby is officially here... you witness a life being born and instantly fall in love with this precious being that you created... no matter how many times you have done it... it is just as amazing each time.

And it was in that moment that I was filled with such peace... he was born...healthy..screaming..and beautiful. And all of a sudden everything made sense to me. Sounds corny to some but see... for someone that analyzes every detail of life.. plans and plans.. and worries about every decision and choice... it is a big thing.. Every decision..every choice.. every mistake I have made has led me to this life.. with my husband..with my four boys.. where we live and who we share our life with. This is the life I was given... was blessed with. Is marriage for everyone? Are kids ...much less four of them in six years for every one? Is staying home with them and forgoing a career for a little bit for everyone? Nope not at all. But for me.. for us .. this is the plan.

And in years like this one.. where things get messy.. where decisions need to be made.. where timing of life throws us some curves..we just go with the plan.. trust God.. and enjoy the life that was given to us. We can plan all we want.. we can set goals.. make decisions.. but when life ends up being even greater than we planned.. then we could imagine? It's awesome.

We thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes.