A Plan

I am a typical type A personality. I get anxious and nervous  about things and constantly need a plan. I plan for future months, for future holidays and celebrations, and normally keep a strict budget. I like to be prepared and ready. Oh silly me.

I had plans for this week. I was going to finish putting things together for little man's upcoming birthday. Start doing things for new baby's nursery. Even planned to start looking at and purchasing things towards Christmas gifts. Last weekend was wonderful. It was finally feeling cooler, it rained a whole bunch, and we had an awesome family weekend.

Come Monday I was ready to attack my list of to do's. I made it through one thing on my to do list and then soon realized that nothing was going to go as planned. I won't go into many details but the situations is this, I am still multiple months away from my due date with little man number two. Yet here I am in a hospital bed because my body seems to think other wise. My body doesn't recognize that baby still has lots of baking to do. So I sit here with my list of to do's making fun me.

This year has very violently reminded me that there is truly only so much in my control. I am a religious person and believe that there is a greater being controlling everything so I have to put my faith in Him. Even for those that are not religious you have too have to accept that there are just things that you can do nothing about and that you have to accept that you sometimes might just not have the answer to.

So although I don't have a choice in the matter I have to let go of my plans. I have to take it day by day because every day that baby stays inside is a great thing. It unfortunately comes at a cost because while I am here trying to keep baby inside... I am taken away from my first born and have spent more time away from him than I care to think about or that I can think about without breaking into tears.

Through this week it has amazed me all of the kinds words, thoughts, and prayers we have received. We have the BEST friends and families that have made things so much easier with their actions and comforting thoughts. Thank you to all of you.

Hopefully there is nothing but good news ahead. I know that many people have thoughts and ideas on medical intervention during pregnancy and labor but I can say that medicine is doing wonders for me and baby right now. For that I am grateful.

Lastly... I can not say enough about my husband and my marriage. Times like this where we are tested truly shows how I have the best person as my partner in life my by side. He is the best husband and an even better daddy.

--Justine--