A dream

Several weeks ago I had a dream about my brother. Then a few weeks later I had another one. I debated talking about it at all because I didn't really want to share the details of what they were about. But I realize now that every time I have a hard day or a rough time missing him I always think back to my dreams and they bring me so much comfort.

In the first one I could actually see him. The second one I only spoke to him. Now I don't know pretend to know the meaning of dreams nor am I claiming they have any purpose or reason to them. I also know that when I am pregnant I have super detailed vivid dreams so that could have contributed to it as well. But in the dream I could see him and hear him so clearly. He looked so perfect. He looked and sounded so happy. He had his hair cut short and was wearing dark blue. He assured me in both dreams of how well and happy he is.

Now I speak of my faith here and there and I am fully aware that some of my readers may not believe in what I believe in. But for me and my faith...being able to see and hear him- I even got a small laugh from him- brings me so much comfort and hope. I read a quote once that said "a dream is a wish your heart makes" .. now some of my other odd dreams would have me questioning what on earth my heart was wishing but in this instance I completely agree with that sentiment.

A simple dream that I speak of may have some questioning whether I am grasping for something to find comfort in. That may very well be the case. But when I live in a world where it is a daily struggle not to break down in grief I will do what I need to do.

I am doing well and enjoying life. I am enjoying my little family and even in the midst of my never ending morning sickness I am super excited for our newest addition growing inside. But still I struggle...

              I miss you when something good happens because I wish you were there to share it with...
              I miss you when something is funny because I can imagine you clapping your hands like a
              a seal and laughing along with me...
              I miss you when something is hard or stressful because you would either be there with                         advice or to simply tell me to stop being dramatic...
              I miss you when I cook certain things or eat at certain restaurants...
              I miss you when I hear certain songs or watch certain things...
             
              I miss you all the time...