A New Year

And just like that the calendar turns and a new year is here. My sons so graciously slept in until 9 and we all were able to take a family nap later in the day. It was lovely. But with the beginning of the new year like a good percentage of people I reflected on the past year. Looked back on the time while looking towards what the future will bring. And I found myself focusing on the negative. We didn't get to travel much..didn't get to any of the house projects I wanted to complete.. Didn't save as much money as I wanted.. Didn't lose all of the baby weight.. I could keep going if I wanted to but I caught myself..

There was so much good.. We welcomed a healthy beautiful baby boy to our family. My oldest started preschool and thrived and flourished there. My sons are healthy and growing. We enjoyed many fun activities.. Play dates.. Outings etc.. Friendships grew.. My marriage flourished. So much to be thankful for. 

That is when I decided that, that is what I need to work on in the new year. MYSELF... I am struggling in a sense because I feel like I have lost myself. I have changed so much in the past few years and have forgotten to maintain myself so to speak. I am a mother .. A mother to three boys. And while I love my boys and they are the best part of any day.. Some times mentally a break is needed. A timeout for adult interaction. Or just a timeout in general. To go get a workout in, to read, to write, or do anything that makes my soul happy. I have a major creative bone in my body and while I get to do creative things all the time with the boys sometimes it's nice to do it by myself, for myself. 

I have lost someone close to me.. I haven't let myself grieve properly mostly because I don't know how to. Losing my brother has made me fearful and unsure of some things in life. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my thoughts and emotions and I push them to the side. I need to work on that and deal with things and seek comfort in my faith. 

It it so easy to list everything I plan to do or want to do. Getting them done won't be easy at all. Exhaustion sets in, convenience trumps other things.. But over all I think that working on myself will make me a better mom, a better wife, a better person. 

Every new year, everyone goes into it thinking this is the year! This year will be great and awesome. And we hold onto that hope .. There is nothing wrong with that hope but sometimes with great hope comes great disappointment..  So why not take it day by day instead. Greet each morning like you do each 1/1.. With hope on making each day awesome .. It's always better to say "there's always tomorrow" instead of "there's always next year". 

So cheers to a new year, a new day and the hope of great things to come.