Aging and Learning

A week from now I will be turning thirty. Since becoming a mother and since losing my brother, birthdays are somehow different for me. Adding another year in this strange concept of time is a mix of feelings. But I welcome it. I remember when I turned twenty I was frightened for all the unknown to come. I still had all the young naïve emotions but was also on the brink of embarking on the adult world with all there is to come both good and bad. Turning thirty is much different. I welcome it and I'm no longer frightened. I feel like I have grown so much..learned so much.. and all the good and bad that has happened in the last decade has been preparing me for each next step. It is not to say that I am not going to continue to grow..or learn.. or even make mistakes. I think all of this continues to occur regardless of age for the rest of our lives. But as we age we feel more confident and safe and sure of some things. At least that is how it is for me anyway.

One of the things I have learned is the importance of surrounding yourself with your people. When I say "your people" I am talking about people that bring good... bring value to your everyday life. Your people should make things easy for you... make things fun for you.. and be there to comfort you when life throws its nonsense at you. It is about quality versus quantity. You shouldn't have people in your everyday life who makes you nervous..anxious.. or like you can't be yourself. What is the point of surrounding yourself with those people just for the sake of socializing? As a mother, I am always looking for friendships to have along this journey because motherhood can be a lonely place. But with that not all other mothers at the same stage as you are going to be a fit for your life. And that is okay. They will find their own people who works for their lives.We can also have friendships outside of our parenting roles. But those are something to consider as well. You don't have to connect with someone solely because of the children. But you do have to connect with people that understand you have children and that in these early years of their lives plans..and outings.. and social events are almost always going to include them. Hubby and I have definitely learned that our friendships our much different now but have also learned who "our people" are and they accept our circus of boys willingly whether they have children or not. Sadly some of our friendships have faded some but that is okay. We have simply grown out of them.. That is life..

With age I have learned to not give any care to what others think. I do things to make me happy and fulfilled. I do things for my sons and my husband and that is it. People are always going to judge. People are always going to disagree. People are always going to think that their way is better. Maybe it is ..maybe it isn't. With that being said.. I also have learned to be comfortable in my own skin since I don't care what others think. I have had three kids in four years so there are parts of my body that are going to take extra work.. other parts are forever changed. I dress for comfort and simple style not what it is trending or cool. I am comfortable in my own skin and that is so freeing. Confidence is a powerful thing.

With age I have also learned to attempt to be more content. Contentment is simple not extravagant. Contentment is calm but fulfilling. Contentment is enjoying your time.. your days.. doing what makes you happy and being present. I know I sometimes get judged because it seems like I keep my boys too busy.. but I choose our "busy" carefully, I don't do things just to fill time... I do things for fun and learning.. and anytime that its not working we go home for the day and try again another time.

Another thing that I have learned along the way is to take care of myself. At the end of each day I am normally exhausted. I have three young boys with endless energy so that should be normal. But I also make sure to do things for myself. It is the oxygen mask effect. When you are in an airplane and they give you the instructions if there were to be a change in cabin pressure.. they say to put on your mask first and then assist the ones who need your help. That is the same concept.. I need to take care of myself in certain aspects so I can be the best mother and wife I can be. I make time for exercise..both for my mental and physical health. I take the time to do things that I enjoy.. my sons will regularly see me reading a book or scrapbooking.. or I make time to write here. Hubby and I make time for date nights ..and I make time to socialize on my own...even if I feel pangs of guilt leaving the boys behind for a few hours.

I am no expert in anything I discussed here .. but all around me I see people.. rushing with no purpose.. forcing relationships that are clearly not working.. or forgetting to take care of themselves. It took me some time to learn some of this and I am still continuously learning. But it doesn't have to be that hard. Things don't always need to stressful or negatively exhausting.

So happy birthday to me.... I get to celebrate my thirtieth surrounded by some seriously handsome men.. ;)