Marriage Refresher

This November the hubby and I will be celebrating 10 years together and 7 years married. To celebrate we are going to do a vow renewal so to speak and get married by the church. We are really excited..and it is pretty crazy to me that we have been together that long already.

Last week we met with the priest to go over some things. When we met with him he asked many questions about us. He asked things like "what attracted each of you to each other?" and "why is it important to renew your vows". One question I really liked was "where do we see each other in the future, and what are our goals for the future?" These questions seem standard right? But in the everyday of life you (or should I say "we") forget these things.

I read somewhere recently where a therapist was talking about how the high percentage of couples he sees are couples with young children at home. They are trying to navigate life with the littles and their marriage might need help because the priority of each other takes a back seat. I can definitely relate...

Having children in the house that takes so much energy both mentally and physically can take so much out of us. From sun up to sun down it is a non stop circus. The circus is hard but fun.. tiring but fulfilling.. scary but worth it. So sometimes in the middle of the circus we forget to put more focus on the partner at our side. At the end of the day with the exhaustion setting in we forget to spend time.. talk, or simply enjoy each other.

So at this meeting is was refreshing to get asked these questions. It forced us to sit there and focus on each other. Take our minds back to when we first met. Get us to open up the memories of the early days when it was just us. And the question about the future? I think that is such an important one because many people seem to forget that one day when the children are grown and out on their own it is just going to be you and your partner.. you better have invested time in each other or else you will be sharing your home with someone who is now a stranger.

I don't say this to make it sound as if its so easy because its not. As a matter of fact that is a big factor in our discussion on adding to our family. We want to make sure that our marriage isn't going to be put on the back burner where it becomes a problem. With three littles ... even though we have a very willing grandma that babysits and helps us.. too many of them can be hard all at once to handle.. We a very fortunate to still get quick date nights here and there and have her to call when something needs to get done sans kids. A fourth kid could make things hard in that aspect and make it where one of us is doing all the work with the kids and the other is having to do everything else

Over all I think we do a good job of communication and making time for each other. But I am so grateful for that meeting last week where we go to focus on each other and think about our future. It was such a great refresher. I am not saying for everyone to go and meet with a priest but hey maybe have your own version of a refresher.. go get some coffee and talk.. turn off the tv at night and talk over a glass of wine.. do what you gotta do.