The Next Phase

School is ending around here for most people. Everyone is eager for summer break looking forward to some calm and fun. Last week my oldest dude had his "preschool graduation". Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones, maybe not but with him moving onto kindergarten, it really is giving me all the feels.

I know there are people that have their children heading into middle school.. high school, or leaving off to college thinking oh lady you don't even know yet. But here's the thing... for me there are many thoughts that go into this transition. He is my oldest. This is all new territory for me. It seems like kindergarten is the phase where you officially are out of the toddler/baby need phase. He will be going to school with the big kids. He will be in a whole new phase of learning... academically...socially.. emotionally... Even though he will always "need" me... his version of needing me is changing drastically.

Don't get me wrong. I'm excited (and nervous and scared ) to see everything that goes into this new territory. But it is all so much to take in. See the farthest back memories I have from my childhood go back to pre k. The memories from pre k are a bit fuzzy but once into kindergarten i have vivid memories of that part of my life. I know that varies from person to person but the point of it is, he's at the phase where these memories are going to stay with him. He will look back and remember the good.. bad ... happy.. and sad. He will remember the exciting moments.. the lessons learned.. the hard transitions. I have a random memory of myself in kindergarten where my position at the group desk was against the wall. I was tilting back in my chair and tilted too far over where the chair slipped out from under me and I was essentially trapped between my chair and the wall. I needed someone to help me climb out. Yep... my very first memory of embarrassment. And that is the phase he is entering into.

He will remember things from school.. things that we did or didn't do for him as parents...He is at the point now that childhood vacations... and family trips.. and successes and failures will stay with him. Now he can remember the people that were mean to him... that were nice to him.. that brought him down...that celebrated him.

I am probably making this into a bigger deal than most which is the typical overthinking that I do. I just feel like its a big change in my parenting too..Sure I kept him alive this whole time... as he learned to crawl and walk and talk.. all important .. all essential for sure.. but now its about shaping him into the person he is going be. And that is the most important thing for me... Sure I will make mistakes and mess up along the way.. but it my goal to give him a childhood he will remember with fondness and happiness. I am excited for this next phase.. next step... and look forward for whats to come.. Cheers to the summer! Cheers to happy changes.