Quoted

I am a huge fan of quotes. I can read quotes for hours on Pinterest, I follow some quote websites on twitter, bible quotes, etc. I always have. I like to have quotes for when I write, when I scrapbook, sometimes I will even highlight quotes in random novels that I read. Weird maybe, but I always find something that I relate to whether it be a quote about my marriage, friendships, family, being a mother, anything really. You come into my house and you will see some of my decor actually includes quotes. They make me feel better, make me laugh, give me hope, they simply do many things. Today I came across a quote on Twitter. It read:

       "Unhappiness does not arise from the way things are, but rather from a difference in the way things are and the way we believe things should be."

Of course this is something I relate to right now. I struggle with certain ideas of how my life should be and then feel so guilty about doing so because I should be grateful for the life I do have. I am notorious for comparing my life to others in certain aspects. I feel guilty for always wanting something more or something different. I don't necessarily get unhappy with life but sometimes I get impatient and want it all. I stress about trivial things and I really just need to let it go.

The holidays are here. I love the holidays. I love everything about them. The decorations, the food, the decor, the family, the celebration. Its hard though because we live in one place and the rest of my family live in another. I want to be able to celebrate with my extended family but also want to celebrate it in our own house and create new traditions with my son and husband. Since we have lived here we have always traveled to our home town for Christmas and this will be the first year that we don't. I love the idea of my son waking up in his own home, I love that we will have our own thing but at the same time hate that I won't get to see my family over there. I can't have the best of both worlds though. My hometown has nothing for us and so without being able to live there, holidays are always going to be separate. Of course there is also the expense of travel and such that factor in as well. Speaking of expense that leads me to the next thing...

Staying home with my son is the absolute best thing in the world. I understand that some women are able to do the career and the mother thing just fine but for me I love being a stay at home mommy. Giving up my income though means making some sacrifices. We aren't able to just pick up and take road trips or vacations without extensive planning and budgeting. There are no extensive shopping trips or weekend trips to home depot to start on the next home improvement project. We used to go out to eat many times a month. Those have been cut in half. Sometimes I miss the carefree spending we were able to do but then that means I wouldn't have the precious days with my son. I selfishly get ungrateful at times because there are some other stay at home moms that have the ability to stay home but also have the money to not have to cut back on everything else. For me its either or and I have to be okay with that. Some women also don't have the luxury of a choice.

I also stress and hurt for other people around me. There is someone in my family that is sick. I try to wrap my head around why her, why now and simply just don't get it. I will never have those answers and can only hope and pray that the Lord doesn't take her too soon and that she doesn't suffer in anyway. I stress for how others in my family are handling it and worry for them too. All I can do is pray. I can't expect to live in a world where nothing bad happens. Unfortunately there are such things as sorrow, hurt, and grief. But there is also healing, hope, and faith.

I could go on and on with things that stress me out, frustrate me, or sometimes even make me a little resentful. From small materialistic things to bigger more important things. But the fact of the matter is- I need to let go of an ideal life that I believe exists and realize that the life I have in front of me is perfect. I have an amazing husband that I love who loves me and puts up with me and supports me. I have an awesome son that is the light of my life who although I spent the majority of the day keeping him away from the Christmas tree, I also got to take a two hour nap with.  I have family that puts up with me. I have a home to live in with a warm bed and food to eat. There is no difference for me. Life is exactly the way it should be and I thank the Lord for every minute of it. Life is what you make of it. Its not always going to make sense or seem fair but the life that was given to you was given to you for a reason.